No More Football?

As most of my regular readers know, my son, Big Brother, played football for the past two years. I love watching him play because it's so obvious that he loves the sport and practically lives for it. As I type this, he is upstairs playing Madden 08 on his Xbox 360 because it's too cold and windy to play football outside. Everyday in my house consists of ESPN, discussions on who Big Brother thinks will win the next NFL game, and of course now it's all about the Superbowl, and usually me yelling at him for throwing one of the hundreds of footballs we own through the living room. Basically there aren't too many minutes out of the day that don't involve football in some way.

But, to my shock and disappointment, BB doesn't want to play this upcoming season. As soon as last season ended he began slipping it in there that he didn't want to sign up again. I was floored and at first said no way to him quitting. But the more he talked about not wanting to be on the team, the more upset he got. When I asked him why this drastic decision, he thought about it and then began giving me really weak excuses. He said that he isn't good at doing push ups and they do a lot of those at practice. He said the coaches yell too much but that was one of the things he originally thought was great. There were a few other things thrown out there that I just didn't buy and the more I probed for the real reason, the more he clammed up. So I had left it at waiting until the season got closer to decide.

BB, is now in basketball and absolutely loving it. At one practice I mentioned to the basketball coach's wife who happens to be a friend that BB was thinking about not going back to football this year. She said that her son who is one of BB's best friends also didn't want to go back. It had been his first year so it was tough and he wasn't use to all the yelling and the boot camp style practices so I could understand his hesitation. But I explained that it was totally unlike BB to want to back out. Then she told me that some of the coaches had been going too far with the way they spoke to the kids (who were all six-years-old). She said there had been a lot of foul language and other parents had complained, but that also, at least one of the coaches was being particularly hard on BB. She had overheard a few things and her own son had even come to her out of concern for BB because he saw the way the coaches were treating him. Evidently BB was being told or I should say yelled at on a regular basis about not living up to his potential. They threatened to take him out of his position and pretty much every other position because he wasn't doing well enough. Supposedly there was some cursing at him also along with a lot of other negative comments that really broke his spirits.

It all began to make sense then. When something really bothers BB he tends to keep it to himself. He doesn't like telling on other people, especially people who are considered teachers or coaches which would explain why he didn't tell me the extent of what was going on. I expect the coaches to yell, it keeps the kids in line and gets them pumped up. What I don't expect is the foul language and verbal abuse. They are, after all, very young kids. I stopped bugging BB about football after that and told my husband about what I had heard. We both agreed that if he didn't want to play, we wouldn't push the subject.

Word spread though that he wasn't planning to come back. Other parents have grabbed me outside school and at birthday parties, asking if it was true that BB wasn't going to play this year. And yesterday, one of the head coaches came up to BB outside school to try and convince him to stay. BB opened up a little more to him than to me and I explained what all I had heard after he went to play with his friends. The coach was shocked. He swore that he didn't know and that it wasn't right to talk to kids that way. He said he wasn't going to give up on trying to get BB on the team (which I had warned BB about). He also told BB that if something like that ever happened again to come tell him and he'd back him up.

On the way home, I told BB what I had been told and he confirmed it and told me which coach had been so nasty to him. Now, just to paint a picture for you, this coach is a large man. He's tall and extremely muscular and I don't think I've ever seen him smile. I, as an adult am slightly scared of him. So imagine a six-year-old with this big guy screaming in his face and putting him down. That's pretty bad. I told BB to think about what his other coach had said about coming back this year and to make a decision because sign-ups are already happening. Of course BB decided that he doesn't want to be there but wants to watch the games and see him friends play.

It's really a shame that one hot head can ruin the way a child looks at his favorite sport.